and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
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Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend