Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.