You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
me + whiskey = a bad person
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.