What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE