I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.