Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sobbing to NWA
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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