ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
