Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
