stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
