I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize