dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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