Just fell off a train. Bad.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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