fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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