new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have post one night stand depression
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
