Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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