if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
