Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm way too hungover for life right now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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