this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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