it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
