He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
