Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
