I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
