so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
