That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
