she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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