I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We named our party play list daddy issues
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
