we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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