There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
