Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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