im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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