i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
