Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
