3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
