I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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