i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
