Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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