i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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