i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize