I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I met the friendliest cop last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
