I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't special order awesome
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
