Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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