Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
