WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
