How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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