She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
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