I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
