HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
soo... how was my night?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
