yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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