i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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