The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
