I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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