and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.