Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale