I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.