So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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