yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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