those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
