is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
