so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
